McCrappy director McG (“Charlie’s Angels,” “We Are Marshall,” and “Terminator:  Salvation”) wants to direct the film version of the hit Broadway show Spring Awakening (also one of my favorite musicals).

This is not good.  McG would probably cast Zac Efron as Melchior and Cameron Diaz as Wendla, then have all of Germany blow up at the end of the film.  I think someone like David Gordon Green, who tackled small-town angst with great success in All the Real Girls would be better.  Ideally (although it will never happen), I’d like to see Lars von Trier direct, as I think the show would work if it was presented like his Dancer in the Dark, which starred Bjork and had some seamless – not unrealistic, not out of place – musical numbers, much like the show is supposed to.  Also, I realize that was a massively long sentence worthy of Proust, but let’s just ignore that.

Honestly, though, I would take any director they threw at the project, as long as it meant we could have the original cast.