Quotes

I was looking through a bunch of quotes today (I have to find a “favorite” quote for a bio on our lit journal’s website).  I haven’t decided which one I will use yet, but here are a few favorites.

“Making people laugh is not hard.  The difficult part is pretending not to care when people laugh at your expense and not at your bidding.” –Christopher Walken

“The road to success is always under construction.” –Lily Tomlin

“Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.” –Lily Tomlin

“Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest — then we can all die laughing.” –Lily Tomlin (she is surprisingly insightful).

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.” –Jack Handey

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.” –Bill Cosby

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”  –Groucho Marx

“Some mornings, it’s just not work chewing through the leather straps.” –Emo Philips

“I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and just laugh at people.” –Jack Handey

“If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that’s all I have to say.” –Jack Handey

“Here’s a good trick:  Get a job, as a judge at the Olympics.  Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn’t see it and go, ‘Okay, is everybody ready to start now?’” –Jack Handey

“I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, but they don’t know I’m using blanks.” –Jack Handey

“If you rob a bank, and your pants fall down, it’s okay to laugh.  And let your hostages laugh too because, come on, life is funny.” –Jack Handey (the guy’s hysterical)

“Live every week like it’s shark week.” –Tracy Jordan (played by Tracy Morgan on “30 Rock”)

Now I just have to decide which one I like the most…

“The Broken Plate” Literary Journal – Now Accepting Submissions

The Broken Plate, Ball State University’s literary journal, is now accepting submissions. This is the second year it will be a national publication, meaning anyone can submit (and there’s a chance you could be published in the same journal as some noteworthy authors). We accept poetry and prose, both fiction and nonfiction. If you send in prose, it better not be awful, because I have to read every submission.

I was published in it last year, and it’s a great opportunity (and it’s nice to have something legit that you can point at and say, “Yep, I’m a writer”).

SUBMIT!

My Summer in Lists – Books and Miscellany

Books I Read This Summer:

Being an English major, I’m ashamed of how few there are.  Lists behind the cut.

Trailer for “The Road”

Sorry I can’t embed this.  Just click that and see the trailer.

Now, read what I have to say about it:

I think it looks exactly like I pictured it when reading the book.  I do not, however, think that the editing of the trailer does it justice.  I can tell, from the bits of the movie that they show in the trailer, that it will be awesome, but the quick cuts, the “heart pounding” music, and the ridiculous words that flash across the screen make it look more like a Steven Seagal movie than an adaptation of The Road, one of the more celebrated books to be released in recent years.

Honestly, though, I’m still not sure I’ll see it.  Just reading the book made me nervous, as I do not deal well with books or movies that have an apocalyptic tone (or are flat out set in the apocalypse).  As beautiful as I’m almost certain the film is, I’m not certain that I can pay eight or nine dollars to be severely freaked out and depressed.  Maybe I’ll rent it.