I attend Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. You may know it as David Letterman’s alma mater – that’s our biggest “claim to fame.”
But Letterman has some competition for “most well-known sexist with Ball State connections” in the form of the Ball State Ass Slapper.
Yesterday, everyone on campus received the following public safety notice:
“University Police are reporting two complaints of assault following incidents at approximately 8:00 a.m. this morning, April 7, in the vicinity of Worthen Arena and the Student Health Center. According to Assistant Chief Robert Fey, two women walking in the area reported being slapped on their buttocks by a white male as he rode past them on a bicycle.”
One of the victims was a student, the other a faculty member. According to this article in the campus newspaper, the man didn’t just slap their asses, he groped them. Then, he assaulted one of them further by giving them the finger and turning back around and yelling, “I love you!”
What’s most revolting about the response to this, which includes a suddenly very popular Facebook fan page for the Ball State Ass Slapper (he currently has about 5,500 fans). The incident has become some huge joke, and even people who I expected more from are becoming fans.
Even worse, I saw some of the following comments regarding the Ass Slapper:
“I feel that if The Ass Slapper is ever caught, he will die. From high fiving.”
“He smacked a 33 year old? Extra points for him to bag a cougar.”
“I bet he didn’t give her the finger. She didn’t say anything about that until today lol.”
“not sure which is worse, the guy actually slapping their asses or the chicks calling the cops on him?? ass slapper, you can slap my ass any day brother.”
“The Ball State Ass Slapper is my idol. The two girls that told are the DEVIL. The one that didn’t deserves a really big cookie.”
“does anyone know how these girls were dressed?”
Also, the pictures are mostly of men spanking women. And I’ve heard tell that next week we will have a campus-wide ass slapping day, which I really hope does not happen.
Most people played it off like they weren’t teasing the slapper’s victims, or making him out to be a hero. They were just making fun of the fact that Ball State “overreacted” by sending out those public safety alerts. As far as I know, they are obligated to do that any time an incident is reported. Besides, many of the comments on the fan page made it clear that the majority were honestly supporting the perpetrator. Frankly, I’m glad that the campus police told me about it, so I don’t see anything humorous about any aspect of this situation.
In fact, I am sickened by it. It’s assault no matter which way you slice it. And apparently the story is going nationwide, and I’m afraid it’ll be played for laughs. I’m almost certain David Letterman will pick it up and make a mockery of the situation and of the school. It’s embarrassing and infuriating.
ETA: This is getting a lot of attention (and every time I say that about a post, it suddenly decreases in popularity, but that’s kind of what I’m hoping for).
The bottom line is yes, I know that it’s a bit upsetting that Ball State won’t alert us about some serious things that happen in places like the Village. That sucks, a lot. But that doesn’t make this situation, or their reporting it to us, any less serious. Where do you draw the line between “ass groping” and sexual assault, since according to most, this isn’t sexual assault? I don’t see a line between the two. He didn’t slap these women, he grabbed them, and those that reported it felt uncomfortable about it. I believe that they didn’t do it for attention. One was a 30-something year old faculty member, so I’d expect more than that from them. They probably didn’t know it would erupt into something like this. I doubt the perpetrator even knew this would happen.
But can’t we just admit that it’s a slippery slope? If we’re laughing off tush slapping, then next we’re going to laugh it off when some person walks down the street grabbing girls’ breasts. Then we’ll laugh it off when another person starts grabbing at guys’ crotches. Next, it’ll just be “funny” when someone is walking around flashing students. Before you can blink, someone will get raped and then they’ll be told it was just a joke. It’s dangerous. We have to seriously consider the dangers girls face every time they go outside. The sexual assault, rape, and abuse statistics for America are insane. Every minute of every day in the U.S., a woman is raped. I know there’s a considerable gap between butt smacking and rape, but it is sexual assault, by definition, and if that’s a joke, then where do you draw the line? Let’s use our brains here, and show some maturity.
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April 8, 2010 at 10:31 PM
AM
I completely agree with all that but I’m pretty sure I’m the only guy I know that feels that way. My question is, how would it be treated if a girl did it to a guy? It probably wouldn’t even make a police report.
April 9, 2010 at 12:14 AM
leeraloo
Well, there are many cases of sexual assault on men, done by women, but men rarely ever report it because they’re ashamed. I guess the same would happen here. Girls are more aware of what sexual assault is and when it happens, and how to react, and that they don’t deserve to be treated that way. Maybe guys are writing this off because they’re completely comfortable with smacking each other’s butts in locker rooms, but it weirds me out, and I would feel completely embarrassed if it happened to me.
April 8, 2010 at 10:34 PM
Brad
Hey jenny shut up
April 9, 2010 at 12:14 AM
leeraloo
What?
April 8, 2010 at 10:35 PM
BSU
you’re embarrassing and infuriating.
April 8, 2010 at 10:37 PM
Anon
Don’t forget the fact that the third girl “ass-aulted” realized it was a joke, laughed it off, and joined the fanpage.
And props to him for grabbing ass while on a MOVING VEHICLE. That takes skill, my friend. It is no mere novice slapping, no, we are talking about a master here.
April 9, 2010 at 12:11 AM
leeraloo
Yep, takes skill to be a molester. That’s really admirable.
April 8, 2010 at 10:51 PM
tam
One of the victims has a picture of an elephant with it’s trunk in another elephant’s ass in her facebook profile pictures album. She also has a picture of a monkey with a boner. Clearly she just wants attention if she thinks those things are funny but a slap on the ass isn’t. I don’t believe a word of the “grabbing” because, really, how the hell can you grab an ass while on a bike?
April 9, 2010 at 12:11 AM
leeraloo
That’s ridiculous. I’m sure you’ve laughed during a movie when a character endures pain and it’s played for humor, but that doesn’t mean that you also want to get punched in the face or fall out of a car or whatever. I hope that you don’t one day get murdered and someone goes on your Facebook page and sees you have “Fargo” listed as a favorite film or something, so everyone just says, “Clearly she just wanted attention if she thinks ‘Fargo’ is funny but when she gets murdered it’s suddenly not funny anymore.”
April 8, 2010 at 11:40 PM
ceo
hey, you didn’t post my joke about catching the cycler red-handed and setting up a legal defense fund
April 8, 2010 at 11:41 PM
anon
Since apparently you didn’t read the info box for this facebook page, I’ll quote some of it here:
“…the author of this page in NO WAY condones the objectification of or violence towards women or men. Jokes about rape will NOT be tolerated. The purpose of this page is simply to mock the fact that the University is considering this an “Emergency Situation.”"
And the comments are simply jokes because the University administration blew it out of proportion with that email, while not sending a single email about the robbery two days before. If you honestly feel threatened or in danger because of a slap to the buttocks, you have more issues than the fact that you don’t have a sense of humor
April 9, 2010 at 12:08 AM
leeraloo
Well I don’t think assault is something to joke about by any means, but that’s just my opinion. And clearly some of those quotes, like I posted, weren’t funny, they were mean. Sorry, but they were. Perhaps if you were a woman, particularly a self-respecting one, you would understand where my gratitude towards the campus police comes from, for sending the e-mail. I’m glad to know that they won’t write off other assaults as being just “trivial” or “a joke.” I didn’t hear about the robbery, but that was probably off campus. As far as I’m concerned, they have an obligation to tell us about everything that happens ON campus, and that’s what they were doing.
April 9, 2010 at 12:14 AM
Gss
If the ass slapper is caught, what do you want to happen? You want him to do like 15 yrs in prison for it? You’re out of your mind. Can you honestly say that you’ve never in your life had your butt spanked? If you say yes, I know you are lying. I used to get my butt slapped by girls that I didn’t even know in high school but I never reported it. I just laughed and forgot about it. It wasn’t a big deal.
April 9, 2010 at 12:19 AM
leeraloo
I’ve had my butt spanked by friends and family as a joke, but not by a stranger who then turns around to taunt me. Clearly this dude has some issues. And good for you that you laughed it off, but like I said, when sexual assault and abuse are a really huge things girls have to worry about (1 in 2 women will be in an abusive relationship, every single minute of every day, more than one woman is raped in America, and on Ball State’s campus alone, 18 students were raped in 2006-2008), they can’t “just laugh it off” all the time. Sure there are situations where you’d laugh something like that off. But the circumstances of this particular assault don’t make for a funny situation.
April 9, 2010 at 12:27 AM
Copper
I love the smell of anonymous internet idiots commenting in the morning.
April 9, 2010 at 12:29 AM
leeraloo
Isn’t it just the best?
April 9, 2010 at 12:34 AM
NotanIdiot
LOL why didnt they just run to the nearest blue light? lol or did they just piss and moan to each other until they decided-HEY you know what, “We could probably get some money out of this!”
Ball State will have some kids come here just because of this local hero. Mark those words.
ITS NOT SEXUAL ASSAULT IDIOT! HIT YOURSELF IN THE FACE SO THE REST OF US DONT HAVE TO…some peoples kids…
April 9, 2010 at 12:44 AM
leeraloo
I’ll provide you with this definition of “sexual assault” from the National Center for Victims of Crime:
“Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person’s body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person’s consent.”
So, if they didn’t want it to happen to them, and they are upset about it, and since spanking is often a sexual act (and I don’t think you can argue that he was the father of either of these girls zooming past to punish her for not taking out the garbage this morning, so it’s certainly not punishment) then boom… it’s sexual assault.
April 9, 2010 at 2:29 PM
bdc
The fact that your your pseudo name is Notan IDIOT speaks for itself.
April 9, 2010 at 12:52 AM
NotanIdiot
Leeraloo-Take a look at this video and then maybe you can not be such a tight wad…
April 9, 2010 at 12:58 AM
leeraloo
Oh, Porky’s. Certainly a classic feminist film.
April 9, 2010 at 3:16 PM
Jen
I’d love for all you pro-ass-slappers to enlighten me, then, how you would feel if it was YOUR girlfriend who got her ass grabbed by some random guy? Would you honestly think it’s just soooo hilarious? If you were at a party and some drunk mother fucker decided to grope your girlfriend and then flip her off, you would just laugh and say “Oh it’s college… no big deal. She’ll get over it.” I doubt it.
Maybe YOU wouldn’t have called the police, but who are you to tell someone else when they should or shouldn’t feel comfortable or violated? That’s great if you think it’s just a hilarious joke, but how do you know these women hadn’t been sexual assaulted or raped in the past? Maybe they have a reason to “over react” like all of you are suggesting they did.
You just don’t know, so who are you to pass judgment? If they didn’t feel safe then they didn’t feel safe. Should we also stop reporting robberies on campus because there’s a possibility that the robber was actually just stealing shit as a joke. Maybe he was going to return the stuff he stole?
But wait, that would never happen. Just like grabbing an unwilling girl’s ass is never going to be hilarious.
April 9, 2010 at 7:10 PM
anon
Your entire argument is based on the fact that a little ass slap is considered Assault. Which it isn’t. Not by 90% of the world (educated guess). Sorry if you’re butt-hurt over it and want attention.
April 9, 2010 at 7:37 PM
leeraloo
I don’t want attention. I’m not the one who posted the link to my blog – which usually only my friends and family comment on – on the guy’s fan page, so this is simply my opinion, on my own blog. And it is assault. Yet again, I’ll provide you with this definition of “sexual assault” from the National Center for Victims of Crime:
“Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person’s body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person’s consent.”
And as much as you’d like to think that 90% of the world agrees with your narrow viewpoint on assault, you’re wrong. Maybe one day you’ll get out of the Bible Belt and realize that.
April 19, 2010 at 12:39 AM
LaLa
why must you make a saracastic comment about religious people like that? please keep in mind peoples opinions on issues are not predictable just because of a religious or political affiliation. it seems very strange to me that you would think that religious people would be okay with something like this.
April 19, 2010 at 2:52 AM
leeraloo
Oh, are you talking about the Bible Belt comment? I just meant the Mid-West. I don’t see it as a slight against a religion, more like my go-to reference for all of Middle America, because I’m nitpicky and I don’t think that Indiana is really (geographically) in the Mid-West, so I don’t like to say that it is (to avoid confusion). But it certainly does fall in line with the MId-West culture, and Bible Belt always just seemed like a term to refer to that. I honestly didn’t even consider the religious connotations about it.
April 21, 2010 at 3:27 AM
LaLa
oh that’s good to hear
April 9, 2010 at 7:12 PM
anon
Also, he most likely didn’t turn around and “taunt” the “victim”. Chances are she made that up on the second day because everyone was making fun of her for reporting it, to make it seem like the guy was an ass hole.
April 9, 2010 at 7:34 PM
leeraloo
What if people gave this argument every time someone got raped? That’s victim blaming, and it makes you look like a complete misogynist.
April 11, 2010 at 6:08 AM
cole
This article is such a joke…
April 12, 2010 at 8:50 PM
anon
LOL because of course, this is perfectly comparable to me hold you down and ravishing you like a beast, isnt it? No. It’s not anything like rape. So stop using that argument like all of your other sexist feminist friends.
April 12, 2010 at 10:39 PM
leeraloo
I don’t recall equating it to rape. It’s perfectly clear that there can be varying “degrees” or types of sexual assault. And clearly something that could result in STDs, pregnancies, and health problems is worse than getting one’s butt groped. But that doesn’t mean that getting one’s butt groped isn’t completely uncalled for, shocking, and mortifying.
The bottom line is that you have no right to say what people can and can’t be offended by. And I’m just going to ignore that last sentence because it shows that you’re completely ignorant (not that that wasn’t a well-established fact already).
April 18, 2010 at 11:25 PM
Sohan
Tu qoque fail. Men should not tolerate sexual assault either. It’s just that we’re conditioned to do so as part of the socially-accepted manliness package – glorifying female sexual attention anytime anywhere anyhow. Maybe we need a gay ass slapper grabbing guys’ posteriors “just for laughs”. Then we’ll see how many Facebook fans HE gets. I’m really just sickened by this whole affair … the assault, the male fans, the female fans, the excuses, the humor.
April 19, 2010 at 2:55 AM
leeraloo
Why is this a tu qoque fail? I don’t recall saying that men shouldn’t NOT tolerate sexual assault. I understand the pressure that patriarchy puts on men, too. I re-read through my post and I don’t see where I said anything that should make you think that I’m just as bad as the Ass Slapper or those who are fans of him, or those who commented here in support of him.
April 20, 2010 at 3:13 AM
hourlily
I think Sohan may have been responding to the first comment by AM.
April 21, 2010 at 12:06 AM
leeraloo
Oh, okay. Thanks.
February 23, 2011 at 10:04 PM
Bethany
First off, bravo- I agree with pretty much everything you said, and after scrolling through the comments I’d also have to congratulate you on sticking to your guns.
Also, I’m frankly a little astounded at some of the comments you got on what was a fair, well-rounded article on a serious issue.
(I admit that I found my way onto your blog through a tumblr link about Glee sexism, but I’ve been on here a while checking your stuff out, and I think that you have a lot of really valid things to say, and a voice confident enough to say them. I wish could be as proudly opinionated!
I doubt this will mean very much, but speaking as a random stranger off the internet, I’m very moved by a lot of what you have to say, and you’ve given me a lot to think about.
(Also, that thing of Rob Pattinson doing his dance will haunt me forever. I’m just saying.))
February 24, 2011 at 6:08 AM
leeraloo
Thank you! Thanks for saying such nice things. And I don’t mean to sound like an infomercial, but if you work your way through all of my blog entries here, go on over to my new blog, thechicklitz.com and read some stuff. It’s run by me and a bunch of other like-minded lady writers. Thanks again for reading!
April 8, 2011 at 5:19 PM
Butts
Maybe while you’re burning your bra and letting your pubes grow you’ll manage to get over this.
April 10, 2011 at 5:35 AM
leeraloo
Oh, Butts, you silly. I’m not going to burn my bra. Bras are way too expensive to do something stupid like that.